The Juno Awards are held in St. John’s, Newfoundland, this year. And because of this, CTV is running it on an hour and a half tape lag to the rest of Canada.
So while a lot of winners have already been announced and performances have already been done, I’m still going to be sharing my colourful commentary on the event via this here live blog. My first, actually!
See what happens under the line break.
8:01: Classified kicks off the night with a performance on George Street .. it’s kind of like his own little parade in the middle of lots of middle aged ladies who probably have no idea who he is.
8:02: Mentions Justin Beiber in his song “Oh Canada” and then lots of words are blurred out. I’m suspicious.
8:04: Now it’s Michael Buble, inside around glacier set ups and with a full orchestra/band. Fancy tie. The ice/glacier thing isn’t the best taste though. Cough, Iceland, cough.
8:05: Oh, the good samaritan walks through the crowd, touching fans hands. Meh.
8:06: Man, this song is really lackluster. He’s barely trying! At least he’s not lip syncing. Oh, wow, he’s walking through the crowd AGAIN.
8:07: All I can hear is squealing. Can barely hear the meek Buble. The microphones go ON the stage. Oh.. look… confetti.
8:08: Barenaked Ladies. Oh my, that short one has very unfortunate facial hair. You know, I’m thinking about starting a blog about unfortunate mustaches… think I should do it? Barenaked Ladies say that these Junos are a party, and that St. John’s is the most musical city in Canada. Is it?
8:09: Ah, they mention Buble vs. Bieber and how he will crush the hopes and dreams of a child. Bieber looks confused, but still smiles. Oh look, there’s Drake. Hahaha, this speech keeps getting more and more ridiculous.
8:12: And the first award “Single of the Year” — goes to Michael Buble for “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet,” which is that song he just performed pretty badly. Well, the recording is better..
8:13: He thanks his fiancee. Good boy. The music starts in on him. Buh bye!
8:17: We’re back. Leah Millar .. yeah. She could use a haircut. Oh boy, she is SO happy to be announcing Bieber.
8:18: Bieber sings “Baby.” Microphone takes up almost his entire face. I see his eyes peaking out .. You know, I’ll be honest. I saw him play this when I was watching Saturday Night Live last week, and I didn’t hate it. But this is an acoustic version.. why? Hm, both Buble and Bieber are going for this meek thing — have they been hit by the calmness of Newfoundland?
8:20: Oh look, it’s Drake. I don’t get why he always uses this weird voice when he raps. Jimmy Brooks certainly didn’t talk like that. (That’s probably the point.) This acoustic thing is messing up the tempo.. acoustic pop and hip hop, I think the theory was more appealing, obviously.
8:21: Hahah.. I like the neon hearts and stars that are floating around in the background. It’s like if I was in grade 7 and loved Justin Bieber all over my Trapper Keeper.
8:22: Ah, I missed who these ladies are on George Street. Oh well. This is a Newfoundland thing, I feel left out.
8:24: Stereos. They’re very clear speakers… that’s fascinating. Really. They’re announcing Group of the Year.
8:25: Hedley gets the biggest screams but oh look at that, Metric wins! Emily Haines looks stunned. And glittery.
8:26: Stereos look jealous in the background. Next year, fellas. Emily could have brushed her hair, but why bother? Aaand the music starts.
8:30: Danny Fernandez and Lindsay Baxter. Who? Hahaha he can’t read the teleprompter. This is awesome. Why doesn’t CTV show the names of people who are talking? Sigh.
8:31: Fan choice, presented by Pepsi goes to Michael Buble. Oh look, there’s the nice tie again! “I would like to thank the sponsor Pepsi, Pepsi tastes great in a glass, but in a slushie, it completes me.” Awesome.
8:33: Whoever this guy is, he totally just gave himself props while announcing Johnny Reid.
8:34: Bored. Snooze. Onto other work. Sorry, Johnny.
8:37: THE HORROR. It’s the “I Believe” girl. I do notice that he clothes are A LOT more tame since the Olympics. Her momma must have gotten to her. Goes into a video of her at a school in Montreal about arts funding for Music Counts.
8:42: Shiloh. Who? It’s not a puppy… it’s a spunky looking girl who messed up her bit..
8:43: Billy Talent. You know, I’ve managed to ignore this band for a couple years. It was going so well. Hm, the singer looks like he’s preaching. Pretty entertaining. What is up with the audio tonight? Unfortunate.
8:46: This is a long song compared to the others. I could probably sing the same songs in burps.
8:47: K’Naan. Yay! Those hats won’t grow old anytime soon. He’s awarding Bryan Adams for a Humanitarian Award. Didn’t even realize Mr. Adams was into the rest of the world.
8:48: This video is clearly proving how naive I am. Sigh.
8:50: Bryan Adams is stuck in London because of the volcano, sends in a video statement. He keeps his statement very humble, and damn he’s sexy for an older man. Can you tell I have never paid any attention to him before?
8:56: Lights and Dallas Green — thank god, I thought they were performing for a second. Could you imagine?
8:57: K’Naan wins for songwriter of the year. Buddy is rackin’ up awards this year. Good job! Haha, “Where do I look? Here? Oh, hello.” I love this “There is no greater dream than the one that comes true in a song.”
8:58: I still don’t know who these people are on George Street. They’re not funny, either. STOP IT.
9:00: Amy Millan went blonde-ish? I didn’t recognize her! She introduces Great Lake Swimmers. They perform “Pulling on a Line” — off key a bit, too quiet and the violin overpowers at some point. Meh.
9:07: Jully Black and.. some guy I already forgot the name of. He’s all polite and then Black goes all MAKE SOME NOIISE. Noooice.
9:08: Oof, the teleprompter is like a whole other person in the Junos.
9:08: New Artist of the Year goes to … Drake! He hugs Bieber, who is sitting right next to him. Awkward. There are other musicians behind them I can’t name because I don’t remember, but they look jealous too, haha. Drake… finally speaking normally… dedicates award to his mom. Shout out to Bieber. Bieber points. It’s like every day!
9:11: Metric plays. I’m actually starting to get frustrated about how the sound quality is so so bad. Is everyone out of key or is the audio person messing up? The audio person wouldn’t be alone, as whoever is running the teleprompter needs an energy drink.
9:12: Who would rather be, The Beatles or the Rolling Stones? This song could have SO much more energy. Sigh.
9:13: Emily Haines is making weird faces. Entertaining.
9:15: Amelia Curran. “Oh hi!” Oooh, blue hair. Her dress isn’t very flattering, though. Why am I hearing other people talking? Is there a mic on somewhere? Seriously, Junos. Curran talks about the awards that were given last night. Read who won those awards here.
9:22: Great Big Sea. I am naive once again. They announce Blue Rodeo. I am bored once again.
9:28: I should really start paying attention to who these random men are that keep presenting. Woops.
9:29: Tribute to April Wine, yet another Canadian band I never knew (I grew up in the States, okay?) Sound like fun though. Horrifying mustaches. (Seriously, I need to start this mustache blog.)
9:31: April Wine guys come on stage, still have crazy hair!
9:37: So You Think You Can Dance Canada judge guy announces Drake performance. He will get laid tonight.
9:37: I don’t understand Drake. This is probably the best performance of the night, though. But the backing vocal track is too loud, distracting and Drake also looks very careful of what he’s doing. He has the most random lyrics! Referencing Rosetta Stone, hahaha. Actually, this song is kind of anti-climactic. I’m starting to fall asleep now…
9:41: Deadmau5, complete with big mau5 head, on George Street. Girl presenters seem very confused as for what to say.
9:43: Ah, Hedley was the band behind Drake and Bieber. And now they’re presenting Best Rap Recording. Haha. Drake wins, of course. Bieber no longer sitting in same spot. Looks like there are seat filler people in Hedley’s spot, too. What a fun job that would be!
9:49: Alexandre Bilodeau, the guy who won the first Gold Olympic medal for Canada on Canadian soil, is a rock star now apparently (in appearance). Apparently one of the perks of winning that first Gold. Hot stuff.
9:50: Album of the Year goes to “Micheal Bobble” hahahahahahhahaha.
9:52: I am SO captivated by this guy’s afro and strange side cheek burns.
9:52: K’Naan performance! “Wavin’ Flag” — He’s had a wardrobe change. He’s a real performer now. Audience is waving arms, which seems like the first involvement they’ve had besides touching Drake’s hand as he passed. He’s so nice.
9:55: Oh look it’s Drake. AGAIN. He won’t go away! He’s also changed outfits AGAIN. Hahah. Now there’s Nikki Yanofsky.. with no wardrobe change. And now it looks like the audience has flags..
9:56: And there’s the Biebs. Screamscreamscream. He only sings this part, “When I get older…” because he’s the youngest one… and all of a sudden there’s tons of people on stage singing. KNaan looks like such a proud papa.
9:58: Oh? It’s over? Well, okay. Why is there such a long shot on the girls on George Street awkwardly dancing? If that was me, I would HATE that. Anyways … have a good night, folks!
Ha!
I Love michael buble music